We’ve all been there. At times, despite being a long-standing and loyal customer, we find ourselves ready to click the ‘cancel subscription’ button. We hope we can simply slip away with no one noticing (chance would be a fine thing) but OH NO, the business suddenly rolls out the red carpet for us.
A flurry of ‘we value you’ messages appear. Discounts materialise. Flexibility is offered. Sometimes, even a real human reaches out. It’s as though the business has only just realised that we are there or more worryingly that we were valuable from the outset.
This reactive retention model isn’t just limited to us as customers. It’s just as prevalent – and I think worse – when it happens with team members, key partners, or event suppliers.
It’s the equivalent of ignoring someone at a dinner party until they stand up to leave – only then to ask them if they’re having a good time and offering dessert.
It’s awkward. It’s obvious. And frankly, it’s too late.
The truth is: if someone matters to your business, they shouldn’t have to be halfway out the door to hear it.
Build when it’s strong – Not when it’s not!
Relationships, in business and in life, are strongest when nurtured consistently – little nudges and little check ins. Yet so many wait until a relationship starts to break down before showing up with any effort or urgency. That moment might be a resignation letter, a cancellation click, a contract review or simply… silence.
Relationships, in business and in life, are strongest when nurtured consistently – little nudges and little check ins
And after doing my job for over 25 years – I see this all the time. Businesses spend so much energy on acquisition but so little on sustained appreciation. The enthusiasm, attention, and care that show up in the early stages of a relationship often fade once things feel “settled.”
But let me be clear: resting on your laurels and not showing your appreciation for those you value the most – it simply relationship suicide!
The illusion of loyalty
There’s a dangerous assumption that if someone hasn’t cancelled, resigned, or raised a concern, they must be happy. But we all know, because we ARE those people that that’s not how people work. Silence can be anything from “I’m just coping” to “I’ve already checked out.”
Here’s an example from a client I recently worked with.
This particular firm had a brilliant team member; she was unassumingly awesome! Yes, she was quiet, she let others speak first, she kept herself to herself, but she consistently delivered quality work. She was a core part of the operations function. One morning, she handed in her notice – no complaints, no drama, just a polite and professional exit.
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The directors were stunned. “We had no idea she was unhappy,” they told me. Within hours, they’d arranged emergency meetings. Offered more money. Flexibility. A new title. A promise of progression… blah blah blah..
But it was too late.
When I sat down with them to debrief, I asked when they’d last had a proper check-in with her. A career conversation. Given a meaningful thank you. Shared a moment of reflection or recognition. The silence in the room told me everything I needed to know.
She hadn’t left because of one big issue. She’d left because of a thousand little omissions. She simply stopped feeling seen.
If it’s real, say it early. Say it often.
We all have needs – for some it’s financial or material, for others it’s about simply having quality time with someone we like or love. So if someone matters to you and your business, whether that be a team member, a customer, a client, a partner or a supplier – my goodness make sure they know!
Don’t wait until they’re halfway out the door. Don’t wait until you’re forced into the scramble of “how do we fix this?”
Show appreciation to partners and suppliers when everything’s running smoothly, not just when you need a favour
Because the reality is: most relationships don’t break suddenly. They fade over time from a build-up of tiny little things!
So build rhythms of recognition into your business operations. Make it a norm – not a reaction to:
- Let people know they’re valued without needing to threaten to ‘cancel’.
- Engage in growth and development conversations regularly with each member of your team.
- Show appreciation to partners and suppliers when everything’s running smoothly, not just when you need a favour.
- And as basic as I know this is ALWAYS… say thank you!
These aren’t dramatic gestures. They’re simple, powerful practices of consistency.
Your culture is shaped in the quiet moments
So many businesses assess their culture by how they respond in a crisis. But culture isn’t forged in a crisis. It’s forged in the quiet, everyday moments where care, consistency, and clarity are either present… or painfully absent.
The reality is: most relationships don’t break suddenly. They fade over time from a build-up of tiny little things!
You see, retention is never just about perks or pay rises. It’s about presence. Being there before you’re needed. Showing you care before someone questions if you do.
Too often, I’m brought into businesses after someone key has walked out the door. And while it’s never too late to learn – it is often too late to keep them.
The opportunity of operating differently
Imagine if your business became known not for its rescue tactics, but for its day-to-day reliability. Imagine if your best people – your clients and your team – felt even more valued after year one than they did during week one.
That’s not only possible. It’s operationally achievable. But it takes intention.
It takes the courage to build relationships when they’re strong – not just when they’re at risk. It takes systems, communication rhythms, and leadership practices that prioritise presence over panic.
So, consider this your nudge. Think of the people who quietly keep your business moving. The ones who show up, deliver, support, trust. Ask yourself: do they know how much they matter?
If the answer is even a hesitant “maybe”… it’s time to tell them.
Before they have to ask.
Before they start looking.
Before they’re out of the door!
Michelle Hoskin is CEO of Standards International and co-founder of The Business and Operations Management Network
