Buckle up for a little morbid story time: In the winter of 1874, Alfred Packer led an ill-fated expedition through Colorado’s San Juan mountains. His credentials were fabricated, the crew was unprepared, and countless warnings to wait until spring went ignored. While it is unclear if he murdered his crew or if they died of natural causes, Packer was the sole survivor. He eventually confessed to cannibalism. This wasn’t uncommon, unfortunately—there was a time when people who got snowed in while traveling through Colorado turned their fellow travelers into meals beside Saguache Creek. Today, people dine on Michelin-recommended food from more than 30 of Denver’s finest restaurants inside Denver International Airport: by far the biggest, among the busiest, and definitely the most interesting airport in America. Do you know any others that have had to confirm that there are no lizard people living inside?
The Denver airport conspiracy theories
Even calling it the “Denver airport” feels like a misnomer; the airport is so far from downtown, you’ll pass through Henderson, Brighton, and Commerce City on the 24-mile drive. My view from the window as I land is not the city skyline, but the amber waves of grain and purple mountain majesties. The scenery is unobstructed because DEN is by far the largest airport by area in the Western hemisphere. At 53 square miles, you could fit Boston or San Francisco inside the property, or Manhattan twice. It has six runways (the third most in the country), with room to expand to 12. All this space is the result of bickering over noise between Denver and neighboring Adams County in the mid-80s, after the city outgrew the existing Stapleton Airport. The compromise: annex a huge chunk of prairie far away from anything, where the airport could expand and expand without ever getting a noise complaint.
Denver International finally opened in 1995, 16 months and $2 billion over budget. The megaproject had turned into a boondoggle, which led to a few big questions: Why is it so far? So big? So expensive? What were they actually building out there? The resulting speculation—Masonic alien headquarters, New World Order safe house after releasing a global depopulation virus—became one of the most iconic conspiracy theories in Internet history.
These, um, freethinkers were unintentionally encouraged by the airport’s art. Namely, a giant blue mustang with glowing red eyes along the entrance road, affectionately known as “Blucifer,” murals by Leo Tanguma depicting, among other things, a gas-masked soldier terrorizing refugees with a sword, a time capsule donated by local Freemasons, and cast-iron talking gargoyles that haunt the baggage claim.
The airport has leaned in, with posters over construction sites that say things like “Thanks for being patient. The lizard people keep stealing our tools.” DEN might be the only airport in America with a sense of humor. “ We don’t think of it as a problem at all because it doesn’t present a problem,” says Marco Toscano, Director of Customer Experience. “It’s just a fun story to have.”
