From breezy I do’s on a Caribbean beach to panoramic nuptials on a western dude ranch, couples everywhere are embracing the destination wedding trend. For guests, a vacation-meets-wedding presents an opportunity to not only explore a unique locale but also dress up for the occasion.

Deciding what to wear ultimately comes down to the fine print on the invitation—the dress code. While the intention is to provide guidance on guest attire, dress codes can often lead to confusion. Do I have to wear a tuxedo if it’s black-tie? Is this midi dress too casual for a springtime cocktail party? To complicate matters further, couples are mixing things up more than ever, says Shannon Leahy, a luxury event planner and designer based in California and Maryland. “A grand, historic ballroom in an urban setting practically begs for black-tie, but we’ve also seen clients host black-tie weddings in outdoor gardens as a deliberate juxtaposition.”

To help you decipher modern-day wedding guest attire, we’re breaking down what the most common dress codes really mean. Keep scrolling for our guide to popular wedding dress codes and what to wear for each type of ceremony.

FAQ:

Black-tie weddings

As the most formal dress code, black-tie is traditionally reserved for ceremonies that take place after 5 p.m., which Lahey says ties back to the historical divide between daytime and evening wear. (Think: Downtown Abbey’s Crawley family changing for dinner each night.) Embrace the opportunity to don your most festive attire. Per Rello, female guests should wear floor-length gowns or longer cocktail-style dresses in elevated fabrics and patterns; for men, tuxedos or a formal black suit and tie. “Generally speaking, this isn’t the time for a navy, gray, or other color suit,” she says.

Black-tie optional or formal attire

Arguably the most confusing category for guests, black-tie optional or formal (often used interchangeably), is regarded as a step down from black-tie but fancier than cocktail. While Lahey and Rello agree this option has become less popular among couples (owing to its inherent ambiguity), if you do receive it on an invite, err on the side of caution and opt with a more formal interpretation. “When in doubt, a classic black dress (either midi or floor-length) is always a safe bet,” says Rello. “For men, a traditional suit and tie will ensure you blend in with dressier guests, but you can also lose the jacket if the party skews casual.”

Cocktail attire

Typically, cocktail means short dresses and suits. But as a dress code that’s seen year-round, appropriate attire hinges upon seasonality and the wedding venue. Per Lahey, “summer cocktail” at a seaside resort implies lightweight suits (like linen with an optional tie) and festive sundresses that feel dressy yet summery. Conversely, a winter wedding set in a formal indoor space—such as a historic library or contemporary museum—might mean a dark suit and tie for men and a knee- or midi-length dress in luxe fabrics, like satin or lace, for women.

Resort formal

When it comes to the ever-popular, multi-day beach wedding, guests can almost certainly expect to see a tropical-themed dress code on their invitation. While the welcome party typically skews casual (breezy fabrics, shorter hemlines), brides and grooms often request that guests fancy themselves for the main event. This might mean colorful, patterned gowns for women and vibrant tones or loose linen suits (with an optional tie) for men.

Garden party

Whether the setting is a whimsical backyard tent or an elegant English garden, outdoor weddings often inspire a nontraditional dress code that falls somewhere between semi-formal and cocktail. What you select to wear as a guest should hinge upon seasonality and the ceremony time. For example, a 4 p.m. wedding in May might call for a structured fabric or mid-length hemline that’s breathable during a sunny ceremony and cocktail hour, but still warm as the temperature drops during the evening reception. Gents, think well-tailored suits in lighter tones, such as beige, pale gray, or even pastels.

Wildcard

“In 2025, couples are using dress codes to infuse personality and playfulness into their events, especially at welcome parties and rehearsal dinners, but even at the wedding itself,” says Lahey. So don’t be perplexed if you open an invitation that cites “cowboy cocktail,” “Met Gala festive,” or “all white” as the couple’s preferred attire. Lean into the theme and approach the dress code enthusiastically. “Arriving in attire that’s in keeping with the couple’s request is one of the biggest responsibilities of a wedding guest,” Rello says. “So do your best to follow what’s been outlined on the invitation or wedding website.”

I once wore a pair of red stilettos—with both way too high and way too thin of a heel—to a wedding in Mexico City. While it’s true that I felt fabulous, it’s also true that I was in pain for most of the party. I then fell flat on my face and scraped my knee on the hilly and unevenly-paved streets of La Condesa. When traveling for a destination wedding, learn from my mistakes. With a carefully selected pair of heels, you’re less likely to walk away with sore feet and battle scars. And with the right pair of heels, you can have it all: style, stability, and comfort.

Not to mention, wearing a great pair of heels is a power move. A CBS report cited a French study confirming the effect of this fashion staple—women in heels are proven to have more confidence and influence over others (and particularly, men) compared to those not wearing heels. And who doesn’t need an extra boost of confidence when traveling to a new destination—especially when it’s for a wedding?

To find the right pair of pumps, let’s talk strategy. You’ll need support, style, and enough comfort to dance until the last song plays. A platform heel for stability? A block heel for support? A pop of color that also pairs with most of your packed outfits? Check, check, and check. Do yourself a favor and break new pairs in before you travel—walk around your house, grab a coffee in them, and make sure they’re ready for the marathon ahead. From classic pointed-toe pumps and easy-to-walk-in sandals to strappy designer heels and slingbacks, we’ve curated a list that includes options for every type of wedding, starting with styles our editors have personally worn on their travels.

Top picks:

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Editor favorites

Strappy sandals

Classic pumps

Kitten heels

Chunky block heels

Slingback heels

More styles we love

While the styles below haven’t been worn by our editors, they were selected from brands we know and trust, taking into consideration factors like customer ratings, reviews that mention comfortability, the latest shoe trends, and the best value for your selection.

Strappy sandals

Slingback heels

Chunky block heels

Kitten heels

Classic pumps

This article has been updated with new information since its original publish date.

In 2019, Dorey and his best friend (the couple’s future wedding officiant), Punam Patel, took a long trip to Spain, including a stop in Menorca.“I fell in love instantly, to the point where I turned to Punam and said, ‘I’m going to get married here.’”

The island made sense for a few reasons: it wasn’t overwhelmed with tourism like some other Mediterranean islands, it was small enough that it wouldn’t be challenging for their group to navigate, and because of its UNESCO status as a Biosphere Reserve, it had retained a low-key authenticity free of too many high-rises or chains. “What really attracted me to Menorca was its wild rustic charm, but with a very understated luxury,” says Dorey.

Make sure guests know it’s not Mallorca

While the flight path from the US was easy enough, even from Los Angeles (with direct flights to Barcelona, then onto Mahón Menorca Airport), the tough part was making sure everyone remembered which island was their final stop. “The biggest hurdle we had to get over was reminding people that this was Menorca, not Mallorca. I feel like every time we said the word Menorca, people said, ‘Oh yeah, I’ve heard of Mallorca!’” Damir says.

Build around the venue

When plotting the wedding weekend, the couple wanted each event space to reveal a different aspect of Menorca, and they wanted them all to be relatively close together. “I think you can get from one end of the island to the other in 50 minutes, so we knew nothing was going to be too far, but we wanted everything to feel very convenient,” says Damir.

They knew it made the most sense to plan around the wedding venue itself, and in Dorey’s typically deep research he found that one of the most lauded eateries on the island, Nonna Bazaar, had recently hosted a few weddings in their farmhouse restaurant. “The color of the building was so dramatic, and we love a bohemian vibe. We had been to Morocco a couple years prior and [were] very much leaning into a Moroccan-meets-Mediterranean aesthetic,” says Dorey. “The Mediterranean villa as a whitewashed building with the bougainvillea is such a ubiquitous image, this felt much more intimate and unique.”

Picture it: You’re scrolling social media and see a happy couple against a dreamy backdrop celebrating their engagement. You immediately make up a scenario in your head, predicting how surprised the other partner was based on their body language, outfit, and manicure status. On a scale from “absolutely no clue this was happening” to “they helped plan it themselves,” you decide it was somewhere in the “had a hunch but couldn’t confirm” range and wait (not so) patiently for them to share more.

Though your craving for all the juicy details may never be quelled (unless, of course, you know the couple intimately), one thing you can safely assume is that the proposer didn’t make it happen alone: One in five proposers recruit others to help, from family to friends to hotel concierge teams. That last one is the latest in a slew of ever-growing post-pandemic travel trends. And with one in three proposers popping the question on a planned trip, it makes perfect sense that hospitality experts are being called upon to help out.

Depending on the hotel or resort, these love doctors may be dubbed “Proposal Butlers,” “Romantic Personal Assistants,” or something similar. Their objective? Making romance happen at any destination. Tasked with important, occasionally wild, responsibilities, they’ll take on as little or as much as you need to bring a dream proposal to life.

For the Proposal Butler—a dedicated butler selected for you from the hotel’s Proposal Concierge team—at Windjammer Landing Resort & Residences, the wildest request came from a guest who wanted a flower-filled proposal atop St. Lucia’s most iconic mountain, the more than 2,400-foot-tall Petit Piton. The challenging climb to the top takes approximately four hours and requires a guide who knows the trails—think fixed ropes and 100-foot drop-offs.

“We sourced a local guide to transport the flowers and non-alcoholic Champagne to the top of the mountain where they hid them,” Tamisha Eleibox, sales and events manager for Windjammer Landing Resort & Residences, says. “The groom had been documenting the hike with a GoPro camera on his forehead and then when the couple reached the summit, the groom passed it to the guide who took over capturing the special moment.”

Like so many passionate travelers, Brooklyn-based couple Jen Lavino and Ryan Allan were itching to see the world while homebound during the pandemic. So once they got engaged in 2022, they started mulling a destination wedding; at first considering Montauk, where they vacation every summer, before realizing how high the pricing there would be. “Ryan’s really into golf, so I [alternatively] looked at golf courses in South Carolina and Georgia,” says Jen, who works for a Danish fashion brand.

But another place that she’s loved her whole life, pulled at her. “I always wanted to get married in Italy, but it felt out of reach,” the bride, whose father’s family originated in a town outside of Naples, explains. She’d grown up living with her Italian grandmother, and a previous job had brought her to Italy several times a year. Ryan, who works in sales and as a model, would often meet her there to explore more of the country, so Italy meant a lot to both of them.

Once the bride-to-be ventured into the research—venues, asking family and friends if they’d be willing and able to go—she was surprised to realize how reasonably priced it could be, and how excited people were to make the trip. Here, the couple share some of that research (and lessons learned) for those who are looking to wed in the land of la dolce vita.

Start with the venue type, not the region…

Although Jen has family ties to Naples, the couple weren’t exclusively focused on getting married there. Their first concern was finding a space that felt intimate: “What we both envisioned was a small enough place that our friends and family could stay with us for multiple days—something we could take over, just us,” says Jen. “We kept saying, ‘Let’s go on vacation with our best friends and family,” agrees Ryan.

From there, they determined other priorities: Since Ryan grew up around farmland in southern Delaware, they were interested in marrying in a farm-like setting, but they also consider themselves “beach people,” and wanted to be near the water. Those qualities led them to consider Sicily and Puglia, and from there they zeroed in on their perfect property.

…and let that venue inspire the whole vibe.

They found their unicorn venue in Masseria Calderisi, a 17th-century working farm with 24 acres of olive, almond, and citrus trees just a few miles from the Adriatic Sea. The estate’s whitewashed, tufa-stone home had been transformed into a 24-room boutique hotel, where a complimentary shuttle ushered guests to the beach.

“I loved that they kept the aesthetic of the original masseria, so it didn’t look too ornate or anything—it’s really simple and beautiful,” Jen says of the minimalist look. “The whole vibe in Puglia is ‘slow living,’ and the masseria was very zen and peaceful.”

“You’d look outside your room to the gardens with oranges and pomegranates,” Ryan recalls. “It blows you away, takes away all your worries and stress.” They carried that atmosphere into many of their style choices, opting for the simple, vintage elegance of white flowers and fruit-topped tables.

Hop on a plane as soon as you can

After falling in love online with the masseria, Jen next flipped for the staff, who were instantly warm and accommodating in their email exchanges. Once she learned a date was available in the deeply desirable first half of September 2023—after July’s heat and August’s Ferragosto holidays that shut down the country—the bride took a leap. “She talked to them on a Friday, and was on a flight going there on Sunday,” Ryan laughs.

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The Lake House on Canandaigua is perfect for groups and events thanks to its indoor and outdoor social spaces.

Denver Miller/The Lake House on Canandaigua

Refined lakeside: The Lake House on Canandaigua

Lake life is irresistibly lovely all around this sparkling lakes region, but perhaps especially from the nine waterfront acres of The Lake House on Canandaigua. While the property is always dreamy in itself, it’s an exceptionally perfect Finger Lakes wedding venue thanks to its suave design, 124 spacious guest rooms, and versatile group hangout areas—from the handsome library and Rose Tavern restaurant, to the heated outdoor pool (open year-round) and Adirondack loungers set up around the fire pits. The event barn, however, is the main attraction; a lofty setting with rustic charm and a giant window wall, where up to 200 guests can celebrate and dine in any weather. The resort offers group activities for wedding guests, including group morning yoga, check-in cocktails, bachelorette day at the spa, and a custom mimosa cart for pre-gaming. Bonus: The private bridal suite is seamless for dressing, hair, and makeup, and leads directly to the event barn via the heated sidewalk.

Classic sophistication: Belhurst Castle, Geneva

On the shores of Seneca Lake, Belhurst Castle is a more traditional wedding venue that’s considered one of the country’s top wine-country resorts. Its stately Romanesque Revival architecture dates back to 1889 and earned Belhurst historic-landmark status (and a reputation for possibly being haunted), but it’s the castle’s romantic atmosphere that enchants couples to marry in its Castle Ballroom or along its 23 landscaped, waterfront acres. Belhurst weddings can accommodate up to 250 guests, with inspiring locations for photos, customized dining menus, an on-site winery and craft-beer tasting room, plus the on-site spa and salon (and no separate venue fee).

Waterfall views: Inn at Taughannock Falls, Trumansburg

Few wedding venues can claim such a marvelous location as the Inn at Taughannock Falls, a boutique hotel located inside Taughannock Falls State Park, near Ithaca. (Pronounced “Taug-hanick,” it rhymes with “don’t panic.”) Perched on the hillside overlooking Cayuga Lake, the inn comes with its own path leading directly to a mellow waterfall trail. On site, nuptials and wedding-party events can take place on the grand, tented outdoor terrace (for up to 300 guests); in the historic Jones Room (for up to 32 guests) with an adjacent pocket bar; in the fine-dining Victorian Inn; and at the freestanding Hillside Residence. Essentially, this historic mansion-turned-inn nestled in New York’s wine country encapsulates all that a dreamy Finger Lakes wedding should be.

Inn of Aurora Resort & Spa is popular for outdoor ceremonies on the lakeside lawn in spring through fall, or inside the historic inn during off-season.

Inns of Aurora

A shorefront fairy tale: Inns of Aurora Resort & Spa

Any wedding can feel like a true storybook ending at the Inns of Aurora Resort & Spa, the premier venue of historic Aurora. Comprised of five freestanding, neighboring inns, the luxurious resort is nestled on the eastern shore of Cayuga Lake, making it a dream location for larger al fresco ceremonies (in season, with tents) or more intimate indoor nuptials (November through April). Capacity for ceremonies, rehearsals, and receptions with sit-down dinners range from 20 up to 200 guests, either inside the main Aurora Inn, or on the lakeside lawn of Rowland House, whose 10 rooms are reserved with each wedding package. The Inns’ venue fee includes the getting-ready Gratitude space, unique china and table arrangements, and a champagne toast.

Hilltop splendor: Crispin Hill, Penn Yan

Romance with a view has made Crispin Hill one of Keuka Lake’s top wedding destinations. Located at the north end in the historic town of Penn Yan (think “Pennsylvania Yankee”), the venue features three unique settings, signature cocktails, a climate-controlled lounge, designer furnishings, a wedding suite, and an in-house executive chef. Owners and life partners Chelsey Madia and Chef Heather Tompkins curate unforgettable newlywed experiences here, led by hospitality, precision, and inclusivity for up to 170 guests. And with the owners’ firsthand connections to local farmers and other wedding specialists, Crispin Hill is one of the Finger Lakes true hidden gems.

Uncommon charm: New Park Event Venue & Suites, Ithaca

Between Ithaca and Taughannock Falls State Park is New Park Event Venue & Suites, an unexpected retreat that feels like its own romantic hamlet. The private, 18-acre venue features seven cottage-suites (sleeping up to 24 guests), each with unique stonework, woodwork, and stained glass. Weddings are held on the bank of a babbling creek or in the main lodge, where dinners and receptions take place. The Wish Room doubles as a family gathering/brunch space or bridal prep room, and there’s plenty of lush lawn for lounging or games—great for New Park’s pet-friendly policy. For weekend buyouts with fewer than 50 people, guests are welcome to bring their own alcohol, a delight for travelers enjoying the Cayuga Lake wine, brewery, and cider trails.

Your search for a property to host a relaxed seaside wedding ends here. Guests will enjoy the in-room comforts, gearing up for a late-night party in the ballroom. During the day, make use of the free-form pool and beach or you could host a themed brunch on the lawns. Whatever you choose, the vibes will always be immaculate at this beautiful resort.

The JW Marriott Khao Lak Resort & Spa

JW Marriott Khao Lak Resort & Spa

Freshly renovated, with multiple venues both indoors and outdoors, this is a hotel that can cater to every need. The in-house wedding planner will make everything easy, whether you want a live band or very specific flower and lighting arrangements. The ballroom is massive, but even more appealing might be a beachside event spaces for your big day.

The living room of the Royal Suite at the Mandarin Oriental, Bangkok

George Apostolidis/Courtesy Mandarin Oriental, Bangkok

Set by the Chao Phraya River in central Bangkok, the Mandarin Oriental has more than 300 rooms and suites. Just sit back and enjoy the attention to detail that sets the brand apart. The Royal Ballroom can be transformed depending on your theme. The Riverside Terrace is a beautiful place to set up the wedding ceremony itself, given that it offers views that will frame thousands of photos and memories.

A version of this article originally appeared in Condé Nast Traveller India.

They handled this by making their plans clear to everyone in their lives. “We made a couple of hard rules … just immediate family, eliminating all cousins, aunts, and uncles,” Jen says. With friends, they tried to simply cut down to the closest of the close, keeping in mind who would likely get along and have a great time together. They wound up with a group of 22, and nearly all of the guests stuck around for several days of festivities.

Tell your guests to save the date as early as possible

Booking travel to Santorini was a large and expensive ask for their loved ones, so as soon as they’d booked their date and venue the couple let people know so they could begin making plans. In the case of Joe’s family members, that meant getting passports, too, as they’d never left the country before. “Invitations and save the dates and everything came later, but for the people we knew we really wanted to be there and we wanted to invite, we let them know as early as possible,” Jen says.

The advice their guests sought over and over after this announcement wasn’t where to stay or which route to book: “The biggest question by far was, What do I wear? How should I dress?” Jen says. In response, the ever-organized bride created a whole section on their wedding website dedicated to attire, with a lookbook for both men and women. “The vibe, keywords, dos and don’ts—I tried to make it pretty comprehensive,” she laughs.

Choose a venue with a built-in planning team

Santorini offered a host of space options, and the couple found a unique method of narrowing them down. “We are both recovering product managers, so we put a spreadsheet together. We listed five or six criteria we cared about, and ranked them against the criteria,” Joe says. They filtered down and filtered down until they hit three venues, then called them each to learn about their availability, event packages, and prices.

They eventually chose Canaves Oia Suites because of its location, views, menu options, and for the major perk that a wedding planner was included in the package. “One of the challenges with a destination wedding is that a lot of people go in advance and try out everything on the menu and get a tour of the place. We did all of that remotely,” Joe says, so working with a single point person made it significantly easier. “It wasn’t turnkey, but it wasn’t as difficult as it would’ve been had we chosen to [create] something from the ground up.” From there, Jen managed everything related to the wedding day itself, while Joe plotted the group activities for the rest of the week.

Rely on a classic itinerary

To create that group vacation vibe they were going for, the pair made a plan for their guests the week of the wedding, and they were welcome to join in as much of it as they were interested in. While that could have been another logistical headache, they made it easy by choosing their favorite activities from their engagement trip, like wine-tasting at Venetsanos Winery, a sunset catamaran ride with Sunset Oia, and a trip to Paros with a guided tour there. When slotting that calendar, they tried “to think about the energy of the group and the distances people are traveling to get there, and how you can still show them a great time,” Joe says. “How do you want people to feel going into your wedding? Are they rested? Have they been up drinking the night before?”

Even far before the pandemic, a large wedding was not in the cards for Biljana Bartulac and Sam Erskine. “I would see people spend a lot of money on their weddings, and actually not enjoy them at all because they were too huge, and the couples too stressed out,” says Biljana. “Then the next day they’d wake up and ‘Oh, that’s it.’ They spent so much money for that one day.”

The pair liked the idea of giving their guests—and themselves—an experience that lasted a bit longer than a day. Plus, their well-traveled backgrounds meant that no one location was an obvious fit: Biljana is from Slovenia, and Sam from the United Kingdom; they first met at a work conference in Basel, Switzerland before reconnecting at another work event the following year, in Berlin. The couple decided on a destination celebration on the white sands of Zanzibar because of its gorgeous beaches, low-key hotels, and proximity to safari adventures. Despite the November 5, 2020 event’s guest list of 35 being slashed down to just ten people when the pandemic hit, it was still a celebration to remember. Here are some of the lessons they picked up about planning a Zanzibar destination wedding along the way, and how they made it their own.

Choose your “beach”

Because the couple’s number one aim for their wedding was keeping it as stress-free as possible, vows beside the ocean was a clear choice. “I wanted a barefoot wedding, super relaxed,” says Biljana. “We explored a lot, from Hawaii to the Philippines to Malaysia, the Maldives and the Seychelles.” Hawaii proved to be too far and too expensive for their European families, and in some other places—namely, the Maldives—it wasn’t possible for their wedding to be legally binding. Others had seaside hotels with event packages dictating that their guests stay on premises, and they felt guilty about asking their families to stay in such costly rooms. Ultimately, Zanzibar worked out “based on other destinations not fully meeting our needs,” says Sam. 

But it was also chosen thanks to some insider connections. “My best man and I both had local contacts on the island,” he says. And the Tanzanian archipelago had another big feature they loved: the option of going on safari in mainland Tanzania afterwards. “If we’re already there, let’s make it more meaningful and throw in something special, a once-in-a-lifetime experience,” Biljana says. The couple and some of their family members tacked on time in the Serengeti, Ngorongoro Crater, Lake Manyara, and more.

Go with a venue that gives you mega perks

Biljana and Sam fell for the Zuri Zanzibar Hotel and Resort on the northern tip of the island for many reasons: It sits on one of the area’s most beautiful beaches, the thatched roofs and wooden decor seemed to blend beautifully into the landscape, and the events team handled nearly every aspect of planning with packages and menus. “Everything was done through them, arranging it locally,” Biljana says of selecting all the details, from flowers to music to makeup artists.

But the benefits didn’t end at wedding details. The hotel offered other perks within the couple’s event package, including a boat ride, a tour through the island’s main city of Stone Town, a snorkeling trip to nearby Mnemba Island, a couple’s massage, and several meals. Coupled with the effortlessness of planning, Zuri was a perfect choice.

Nod to your own culture

Though both the bride and groom wore relaxed white ensembles for their seaside ceremony, Sam integrated a touch of his Ghanaian background in his accessories. “My cousin brought over our families’ symbolic beads,” he says. “I am pictured with mine on my wrist, and he wore a necklace.” The cousin, who served as his best man, also lent him a layer of clothing from his mother, Sam’s aunt, who had passed two years before the wedding.

Host on-site bachelor/bachelorette parties

Because their families and friends had traveled so far—and had been kept apart so long during the pandemic—the pair hosted their stag and hen (or bachelor and bachelorette) parties on site. Biljana scheduled a “relaxed lady day” of spa treatments followed by sundowner cocktails and snacks, but Sam’s group got a bit rowdier, thanks to a friend of his based in Zanzibar with loads of connections. “My friend on the island runs his family-owned resort, so the men [had] a fabulous day, including freshly grilled seafood prepared by a local chef, and a traditional dance group that pulled us into the routines,” the groom recalls.