Every so often, I like to reflect on a specific aspect of my life and write about it for Money Marketing.
For this Weekend Essay, I’m going to talk about being single. After all, we have just had Valentine’s Day and I like to be on theme.
I don’t like Valentine’s Day, because shops and restaurants use it to up their prices on anything vaguely related to romance. But also because it reminds me I’m not at the point I thought I’d be at this time of my life.
If I ever actually start to feel lonely, I remember how lonely I felt in the last three months of my relationship. But that’s another story… and one that I certainly won’t be telling here.
What I really want to talk about is money (obviously).
I’ve been single for about two years now and, in that time, I’ve noticed how much more expensive life is.
I’ve always been pretty territorial with my money, which is ironic considering how little of it I have.
A well-trailed statement is that, in the past, it was the man in a heterosexual relationship who looked after the money and now, in many, it is the woman.
Within my social circles, this is certainly the case. In my own last relationship, we kept our money separate. And that was at my insistence (despite the fact his salary was twice mine).
Don’t get me wrong, living as a couple was expensive. We rented a two-bed bungalow with a large garden in a Sussex town that was within convenient commuting distance from both our jobs as well as London and Brighton.
When we ran out of ideas for meals, we used subscription recipe boxes. We ate out a lot, maxed out on what the Southeast had to offer in terms of activities, had subscriptions to all the main things (Sky, Netflix etc), went on holiday at least once a year as well as numerous weekends away, and we weren’t exactly sensible with our supermarket shops – many avocados were purchased.
Yet the cost of living together pales in comparison with the cost of living apart.
When we first broke up, I went to stay with my parents for what was supposed to be a few months but turned into more than a year because I simply could not afford to move out.
When I first started flat hunting in London, I was choosy about the areas I was looking at (Southwest London mostly – Putney, Wimbledon, Richmond). I also wanted to live alone rather than move into a flat share.
After a few months of scrolling through endless ‘studio flats’ (essentially a room smaller than my bedroom in my parents’ house that quadrupled up as a bedroom, kitchen, bathroom and living room), all within the region of £900 a month, I decided I needed to be less choosy.
By that point, I was looking at anywhere within a 40-mile radius of London and was willing to live with anyone. And I still couldn’t find a place I could afford.
I’m lucky because my sister and her boyfriend came to the rescue and asked if I wanted to move in with them so we could split the rent three ways. It worked out well for everyone because I get to live in an area I wanted to in Southwest London, and they get to pay less rent.
I’ve never been a person who is actively looking for a relationship.
But I’ve heard things don’t necessarily get better in terms of the cost of living alone. Apparently, it’s also more expensive to retire if you’re single.
Phoenix Insights has carried out research into how relationship status can affect retirement preparations.
The group surveyed a group of UK adults aged between 45-54 from across the UK. This age group is known as “midlifers”, which I like.
It found nearly half (45%) think it is easier to plan for retirement when you’re in a long-term relationship. And only 16% disagree with this.
The financial cost of being single can make saving for retirement more difficult, particularly for those who live alone and pay living costs – such as rent, mortgage, utilities and food – from one income.
After all, it’s not as though everything halves when you go from two people to one. A one-bedroom flat isn’t half the price of a two-bedroom flat, for example.
Figures from the Office for National Statistics found people who live alone spend on average 92% of their disposable income each month, compared with people in two-adult households who spend only 83%. This leaves less money to put towards their long-term savings.
The research also looked at who is regularly saving for retirement. It found that 48% of midlifers in a relationship are regularly putting money towards their future retirement income, compared with 37% who are single.
Having read this research, maybe I should be actively finding a life partner after all.
