My boss likes to play records (he won’t go so far as to say he is a DJ). He once told me that a good DJ plays the songs you want to hear, but a great DJ plays the songs you didn’t know you wanted to hear.
Long-term care is once of those conversations your clients didn’t know they wanted to have, so it’s a great idea to open this conversation as early as you can.
I take pride in being a little contrary, so if I was having the conversation with clients, I might start by exploring whether clients follow an ingrained expectation of care, or if they are maybe more aspirational about what it could be.
While many are quick to blame the government for the UK’s social-care crisis, I wonder whether we might be missing the deeper, cultural roots of the problem. The constant panic over policy changes and political leadership distracts from a more fundamental question: why have we become so dependent on the state for care, especially for our elderly?
Why do we instinctively look to someone else, usually the government, to take responsibility for situations that, in many cases, could be managed within families? Why is selling a home often the only way to afford care? And why has caring for our own loved ones become so rare?
Convenience became king: processed food, disposable goods and, eventually, outsourced elder care
The answer, I believe, lies in the systematic dismantling of the traditional family structure over the past century. It began with the introduction of fiat currency and inflation, which made single-income households unsustainable.
Women entered the workforce not just by choice, but by economic necessity. Voting rights, childcare outsourcing and cultural shifts like pop culture and “girl power” further redefined roles within the family.
Convenience became king: processed food, disposable goods and, eventually, outsourced elder care.
These changes, while often framed as progress, had unintended consequences. Caring for elderly relatives is no longer seen as a moral duty or a labour of love. Instead, it’s viewed as a burden, something best left to professionals.
Yes, some care needs are complex and require medical expertise, but many are not. In many other cultures, families still take on this responsibility willingly.
In countries across Asia, Africa and parts of Southern Europe, family is central. No one is left behind. Whether you’re a cousin or a distant relative, you’re treated as part of the unit. If someone falls ill or becomes homeless, the family responds:
- They build an extra room or house.
- They move the person into the family home.
- They swap homes between generations.
- They rally together to provide care.
This is normal in many places. In the UK, it’s rare and often discouraged by regulation. Planning permission, building restrictions and housing market limitations make it difficult to create annexes or multi-generational homes. It feels almost as if the system is designed to push people toward institutional care.
Why? Because the care industry is a business. If families cared for their own, care homes would lose revenue. And the costs are staggering:
- Residential care: ~£1,160/week (£60,320/year)
- Nursing care: ~£1,410/week (£73,320/year)
- Dementia care: even higher
Means-tested thresholds vary by region, but many people end up paying out of pocket, often by selling their homes. Yet wouldn’t it be more cost-effective and humane to care for loved ones at home? To use their assets for private nursing or home adaptations?
The average age of entry into a care home is 84, with stays averaging 3.6 years for women and 2.5 years for men. That’s potentially £260,000+ in care costs. Do we really want to trade a lifetime of memories and family legacy for convenience?
Why wealthy clients aren’t prepared for the cost of later-life care
Maybe it’s time to ask: what kind of society do we want to be? One that outsources care, or one that embraces it as a core family value?
As an adviser, it doesn’t matter whether you agree with my premise or not.
In a recent survey by LV , 67% of UK adults say they are worried about how they will fund later-life care (whether at home or in a residential setting) so it is a conversation people are primed to discuss.
You have a responsibility to encourage clients to start thinking about this as well as an opportunity to help them as part of your service.
It is a three-generational issue, with your clients potentially looking upstream, to take responsibility for their parents, worrying about their own futures and looking downstream and not wanting to burden their offspring.
With careful planning, you can help you clients and their families navigate what has become a taboo subject
As such, opening a conversation that gives clients a glimpse into the future and potentially binary outcomes can help them focus on the kind of solution they want to see.
Do they want to blame the state and expect to be reliant on them for their future care, or would they like to weave some sort of intergenerational solution? Whatever it is, you can start to work with them to determine a financial solution.
The UK’s social-care crisis is not just political, it’s cultural. Over the past century, economic and social shifts have eroded the traditional family structure, leading to a reliance on government and institutional care.
With careful planning, open and honest cross generational conversations and early intervention, you can help you clients and their families navigate what has become a taboo subject that most kick down the alley.
This is a great way to earn your position as a trusted professional and secure your client’s loyalty.
Gillian Wilson is a paraplanner for The Timebank
