Out of context
‘[A] compelling new brand that will be modern and dynamic’
What former Aberdeen CEO Stephen Bird said about the company’s name change to Abrdn in 2021 — a decision that was reversed last month to “remove distractions”. Mind you, Aberdeen isn’t the first company to experience a branding malfunction….
‘The best has been made even better’
What Coca-Cola CEO Roberto Goizueta said in 1985 about the launch of New Coke, an allegedly ‘improved’ formula. Following a flood of complaints, the company was forced to reinstate the original after just 79 days.
‘Modern, meaningful and appropriate’
CEO John Roberts’ take on Royal Mail’s rebranding as Consignia in 2001. This was ditched within a year after suggestions that it sounded like a shipping container.
‘A fresh take on a beloved brand’
Tropicana president Neil Campbell describing its new, minimalist carton design in 2009, intended to “reinforce the emotional connection” consumers had with the drink. It turned out those emotions were largely anger.
‘A reflection of our heritage and a vision for the future’
Weight Watchers CEO Mindy Grossman in 2018, announcing a change of name to WW, which apparently stood for Wellness that Works. The result? A lot of confused customers.
‘One of the purest waters around, inspired by nature but enhanced by man’
Coca-Cola again, this time plugging its new “highly sophisticated” bottled water, Dasani, for the UK market in 2004. An article in The Grocer claimed that it was actually treated tap water from Sidcup.
A right old mix-up
MM received the following comment from chartered financial planner Greg Neall (right) on an article about IHT pension changes:
“This is just sour grapes from advisers with egg on their face.”
Congratulations, Greg! You’ve joined the hallowed ranks of the Mixed Metaphor Brigade. Here are some other examples, from the Conks financial Substack:
“It only took one bad egg to create the chain of events that led to this economic shitstorm.” (Eggs again, but this time in a shitstorm.)
“The financial bailout machine has trapped America into playing Cliffhanger on The Price Is Right, only we’re heading on an upwards path to Nowhereville, and the yodelling never stops.” (We’re sure that path to Nowhereville is quite the hike.)
“With each bailout, they have quietly reattached the daisy chains of toxic sludge.” (Are toxic-sludge daisy chains a thing?)
And finally….
Ivor Harper of Park Financial gives his suggestion for a future Aberdeen name change (all right, we promise to leave them alone now).
This article featured in the April 2025 edition of Money Marketing.
If you would like to subscribe to the monthly magazine, please click here.
